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  • Writer's pictureAndi

FOG



This past week, New York City experienced a haze of smoke from the Canadian wildfires. It’s amazing that the smoke traveled the far distance to New York City and to surrounding suburbs creating a hazy fog that caused the buildings outside our window to fade away. By the 2nd day we could smell the smoke and people started feeling ill and wearing masks. It was surreal with the outside looking like a dystopian society.


I also found the weather this week very relevant to the Parent Do Overs message because when we become conscious, it’s like walking out of the fog which is when we start to see through a different lens. Things that seemed so important often become irrelevant. When we are in the fog it’s like being in a cocoon where we live through our own perception of the world.

If I did not hear the warnings on the news, I would have assumed the weather outside was just another cloudy day on the verge of rain. It’s easier to look the other way and not dig deeper to find out what’s really going on. Warnings about global warming are increasing but many industries continue to stay in the fog as it’s cheaper and easier than making the necessary adjustments to protect our planet. Kudos to those of you who are already champions for recycling and using products that are safe for our environment.


For Parents:


When it comes to our children, it’s easier to stay in the fog and assume everything will be fine even when they are struggling. When our children complain about being tired or upset, parents often tell them to “suck it up because we went through the same thing at their age, and we are now fine” or, “No one is happy all the time, you too will get past it”. However, every adult I have met is struggling in one or more areas with insecurity and seeking to be seen and heard. Even the most accomplished adults often speak of having imposter syndrome, social anxiety, feelings of lack and parent regret. If this resonates with you, it’s time to take a Do Over and view their complaining as an effort to communicate with you. Make sure your child is seen, heard and feels worthy by giving them your time to have them expand on their feelings causing the complaint. It’s scarier when a child is sad but refuses to communicate. Look for behavior that is forcing you to pay attention to your children. This is also their way of communicating with you. It’s much easier to look the other way and stay in the fog believing things will sort themselves out. Allowing a child to sit with their emotions and think about the root cause is excellent but make yourself available to provide support rather than suggesting that they go lie down, or to let it roll off their shoulders and move on. It’s common for a child to feel left out by their friends. Ask them to observe their friend group more closely the next day in school and watch from the outside to see how they treat other kids. Sometimes we stay with a group of friends for years before we realize it’s not a good fit for our authentic selves. Only when the fog lifts do we get a clearer picture of what is happening.


If you feel like you are walking around in circles in the fog, it’s time to take a Do Over. I can help guide you to the clear path.


~Andi





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