Hurricane Ian
In my next life I want the job of naming the hurricanes! I am sure as every hurricane is named, someone has a family member with that same name, and it sparks jokes around the house. This one is for my younger brother, Ian. Growing up, he was a skinniest little hurricane running all over the house. He was (still is) very mischievous, and his energy was boundless. The air would be calm and then in came Ian and the energy shifted with him racing around and often making us laugh with his antics.
Ian told me that he flew from Florida on Thurs right through the hurricane on take-off and felt the turbulence again on the landing. The flight above the storm was completely smooth. We talked how life mimics nature where most of us are equipped to manage a rainy day, flash flood or tropical storm but a hurricane casts a wider net and causes significant damage which can take months and years from which to recover. So, here are two questions to consider:
How do we safely get through an emotional hurricane when it comes from the outside?
How do we acknowledge when we are heading into our own emotional hurricane and need to face the storm from the inside?
For both questions, the answer is: Be present in our conscious awareness. Science says for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Being conscious breaks this pattern by diffusing a negative action and not putting energy into a reaction.
The best way to immediately manage a hurricane that slams us from the outside, is to do nothing! Usually if it’s already a hurricane, it has little to do with you because that would be considered a flash flood.
At some point, we all go into hurricane mode internally and want to blurt out our feelings to release tension. It is even more important to know when this is happening so we don’t leave a trail of damage in our path. Hurricane Ian which was formed in nature will not revisit the same place more than once. After a human hurricane has dissipated, we tend to revisit the situation thousands of times not allowing it to completely fade away. If you are blindsided, do not say anything in the moment. Walk/run away in the same way that you would take shelter from a hurricane that is coming in your direction. Once the storm has passed then you can revisit it more calmly.
For Parents: A toddler’s tantrum is a hurricane of frustration because they don’t yet have language or the tools to self soothe. At this young age we are lucky because their screaming tantrums without words don’t cause personal hurt like the words from a teenager’s tantrum. It’s important not to escalate the hurricane by joining in. Stay in your present mind and think how you can diffuse it. Separate yourself from the words. Picture yourself as an observer not as a participant. Be a role model in being both conscious and controlled. For me, different days require different self-soothing tools. Sometimes its breathing and calming myself. Sometimes its blaring music and a power walk. It does happen when life hits us from all angles and we get caught up in the hurricane letting words fly out only to leave us in regret. This is time to revisit the toolbox from Parent Do Overs. Go back and read a few blogs for suggestions.
If you find there is a repetitive pattern with hurricanes in your family or with relationships and you need guidance, I am here to help break the pattern with a Do Over. Sometimes a Do Over is to ultimately release and not fix. While the air in a hurricane goes in circles, we do not have to be a ragdoll in the wind.
~ Andi
コメント